I did the most stupid thing I have done in a long time, but it’s been eating at me so I said fuck it and did it anyways. My rapist has been dating one of my closet friends for a while, and decided befriending me on facebook might smooth things over. FUCKING WRONG! It only triggered me worse. So I decided to send him a little “fuck you” message and block him.

This is long time over do.

The fact that you have the nerve to try and friend me on facebook is beyond me, but past this, you won’t ever contact me again.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday, it haunts my dreams. What you did to me was not okay. I said NO! Yet you pushed and you pushed until you got what you wanted. I remember that fire alarm being my saving grace. But it wasn’t over then. No, it only just started. You had to tell everybody, and you bullied me out of that school. I had no friends because of you, because you told them I was a whore and whatever else you decided was okay to call me.

I tried to justify it, I tried to think that maybe I did deserve it, because I had already done stuff with other people. I tried to think like maybe that’s all I was good for, or maybe even empathize with you… maybe you went were going through something that was bigger then what you put me through. None of this was justification though for what you did to me.

Did you know I wanted to kill myself for two years after? It still lingers in my mind.

I don’t think you’ll ever understand what you did to me, you’ll probably never even think what you did was wrong. But I just hope you NEVER hurt Nikki like you hurt me.

You don’t deserve Nikki at all, but it’s her life and her decisions.

But don’t worry; I won’t try to talk her out of it. I won’t ever talk about it again. It’s time I move on from it, but before I do, I just needed you to know that you put me through the worst kind of hell a human being could inflict on another. I hope you can live with that.